Mommy Confessions

I LOVE being a Mom.  It is so hard to think of life without Lucy.  Lately, though, I have been having some rough days.  Days in which I am sure every mom have, but I have been really struggling with it. 

So...warning.  If you don't want to hear me just go off, then you can stop reading now before you get too bored.  I am thinking that maybe if I put this out here, it will help me. 

The first thing thing that has been hard for me to realize is that Lucy is  only 6 months old and she will do things when she wants to.  I especially have been struggling with this idea mostly because I have a degree in child development and most of our training was focused around treating every child as an individual.  Lately,  I have been comparing Lucy to other children. I know that all human beings compare-- mostly females (and if you don't think you do--then you are lying to yourself), but why can't I relax about Lucy and stop worrying about her development?  The last week I have been thinking, "Why can't Lucy babble yet?" and "Why does she scoot and roll everywhere, but refuse to work on crawling" and "Why does she still not like to sleep as well as other babies?"  All of these horrible thoughts go through my mind and then it all leads to the conclusion that I must be a horrible Mom. 

The second thing that I have been struggling with lately is the need to be in control. I find myself getting way too stressed out about silly things and then refuse help from Daniel and others.  Because I have been taking everything on myself, I find my stress level to be way high.  Why can't I just relax about things and realize that Lucy WILL be okay if I leave her.

I am really hoping that other moms out there struggle with these too! I have to remind myself that I really do have an amazing little girl.  Stop focusing on the negative things and focus on the positive things. Lucy will crawl when she wants to.  She will start talking when she wants to.  She may not be the smartest or the most active girl in the world, but she does steal our heart every day by those eyes and that smile.  Lucy is an individual and I love everything about her.  She WILL be okay if I leave her for a few hours and even though Daniel only has one great arm right now, he does AWESOME with her.  We have so much family around too that I need to take advantage of them more because they really do enjoy being with her. 

Whoo!! To all of you that are reading this...please help me to remember these things and to relax.  Remember, I'm not perfect and I will have bad days but with the strength of God, we will raise Lucy the best we can.